Bruce Pearl:The Epitome Of Pure Evil...must read

[Ironlung]

BRUCE PEARL: THE EPITOME OF PURE EVIL
By Zeke Ledbetter, Sports Editor
Pikeville (KY) Daily Picayune
2/14/2006

Did any of you note the other evening the whiff of brimstone and sulfur inside the hallowed interior of Rupp Arena last Wednesday night?

No...it wasn't leaking gas or Tubby Smith's indigestion at a horrible Wildcat season.

No...the source came from the man in the orange blazer at courtside. One Bruce Pearl...Tennessee men's basketball coach...or...the epitome of pure evil.

While most of the nation (with a few exceptions) are agog over the "miracle season"? that UT is having, some brave souls are beginning to stand up and say what many of us in the Wildcat World already have suspected. To quote Bobby Bouchet's mama..."?Bruce Pearl is the devil!"?

Over the past few days, I have done a massive amount of investigative reporting on the events surrounding this agent of darkness. The facts are not pretty. In fact...if you let small children read this paper...DON'T! What I am about to divulge is not meant for the young or the weak of heart or those on macrobiotic diets.

1. The "Ceremony"? at Thompson-Boling Arena

A confidential source related to me that, back in the summer, Pearl and the members of the UT basketball program conducted a...well...to put it bluntly...a satanic ritual in the bowels of Thompson-Boling. Although he was not willing to give all the details, it involved a giant pentagram and several goats.

"And if you don't believe me,"? said the confidential source, "I'll show you the goat farm where they were stolen!"?

It is clear from this that Pearl invoked some horrific magic back last year. What else can explain the excellent play of a bunch of no-talented bums as Tennessee has? It's voodoo...dark, evil, mumbo-jumbo...

2. Cruelty beyond decency

When the players reported for practice, it appears that Pearl put them through a regimen that left his players near the point of death. Another anonymous source stated that Pearl made his players "practiced until they were puking all over the place."? This source also states that virtually every player made multiple trips to UT Medical Center with symptoms like weakness and dehydration brought on by multiple vomiting.

"They were puking all the time...like bulimic models"? said the source. "And...if you don't believe me...I'll show you the trash cans!"?

Terror and torture...Bruce Pearl's calling card?

3. The Maniac at West High

While watching his son, a student at Knoxville West, playing a game, Pearl became incensed at the completely competent job being performed by a heroic referee. In a rage, Pearl ripped his jacket and shirt off, did a pose down, and roared from the stands, seizing the hapless ref into a full Nelson. The referee was nearly rendered unconscious before a Knoxville SWAT team managed to pull the psychotic Pearl from his helpless victim.

"He was just a beast...a BEAST!"? panted one source. "And...if you don't believe me, I'll show you the gym where it happened! It was just gruesome!"?

And...what has the league done to stop this agent of darkness from consuming the entire world? What actions have the NCAA done to rein in this madman? What else must happen before this demonic force is purged from our midst?

We remember a time...yes...not long ago. Buzz Peterson was a good man. A man who was nice. A man who knew his place...and that place was to function as a punching bag for our beloved Big Blue. Tennessee was our female dog...there to be kicked...again and again and again. It was the natural order of things.

But...the universe is now askew. Pure evil lives among us. Say your prayers...rub your rosaries...hang garlic outside your doors. The abomination walks among us...and he's clad in orange.

[Indian09]

i have officially heard everything about Bruce Pearl now. lol

[Squirell]

who cares what he does he's got the vols on the right track and thats all the people care about. U mention buzz peterson being a nice guy. Nice guys don't win much at any sport. take coach knight for example he's a rough guy to play for and he's one of the most sucessful coaches in the game. the evilness or the devilishness is only trying to instill discipline and respect in the program. gotta love it go big orange.

[LegendatLegion]

[img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
That's funny! I hate UT! This guy scares the heck outta me because he can flat coach. He is fun to watch, because he genuinely looks like he loves what he does. That orange blazer came straight from Satan!(could do without that) He has done all the right things. He (whether contrived or not) acknowledged the supremeness that is the entity known as Pat Summit and made sure she knew he was 100% a fan of hers. He said all the right things and has smoozed the right people. Wait until he gets some recruits in there. (Scares the heck outta me) I am a UK fan from way back (colors i guess [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img])and Tubster better recruit some shooters (how did the Lofton kid get away)or get used to suckin' hind....UK would have trouble scoring 5 on 2. I like Pearl, i hope he goes somewhere else really quick, like Europe or the NBADL. If not, i am sure gonna hate watching the news around here.